by Jana Silk
In our rapidly changing world, we’ve become obsessed with perfection, making the ordinary seem dull. Everyday experiences lose their charm as we long for something elusive. The constant pursuit of flawlessness has become normal, overshadowing simple joys. We’re haunted by the need to be perfect, sowing feelings of inadequacy as we chase impossible standards. This stops us from valuing life’s imperfections and the beauty they bring.
Most of us tend to show a specific image of ourselves when we meet others. Often, the first thing we do is start the conversation with the intro to our profession. While this may serve as a conversation icebreaker, it is important to know that true connections are built on more meaningful and genuine grounds. Sharing personal stories, dreams and aspirations helps us understand each other better and build stronger bonds.
Success is often quantified by the number of hours spent being busy, relentlessly chasing a perfection that does not exist. Sadly, the once cherished and ordinary values that have the power to create extraordinary moments have lost their significance. Activities such as sitting and drawing, playing with your child, spending time reading a book, cleaning the house, or working in the garden are no longer deemed worthy or valued as they should be. Simple joys and meaningful connections have been lost to the pursuit of productivity.
Only a few are brave enough to openly say: “I’m not that busy, I’m just helping a friend,” or “My main focus is being a mum,” or “I’m taking a break.” Even among those who do admit that they don’t fit society’s idea of success, they tend to apologize or explain themselves for not fitting the prescribed mold. Believing that worth is only about how much you do or how long you’re busy can make you feel empty and unhappy.
As I write this, I think of my grandmother’s life journey. Born during the start of World War II, her early years were tough. She lost her mum to sepsis when she was just 5 years old, leaving her and her seven siblings in difficult circumstances. Her father remarried, unable to care for them, leading to a situation reminiscent of many childhood tales, with a stepmother who was unkind and uncaring, akin to the story of Cinderella.
Due to the family’s dire situation, my great grandfather had to make a painful choice. He gave up some of his children up for adoption. Out of his eight children, five found new families, one passed away, and only my grandmother and her older brother stayed with their father and stepmother. Life was tough for them. They lived in a barn with animals, and despite trying to escape at times, they always returned as they had nowhere else to go.
At 16, my grandmother met my grandfather. Although not initially in love, she appreciated his kind and caring nature, and marrying him presented an opportunity to escape her stepmother and establish a new life elsewhere. She chose a different path, one of a simple life focused on her family, instead of chasing something extraordinary.
My grandmother is an incredibly intelligent and wise woman, remarkable in her humble manner. Growing up by her side, I saw her how she excelled in everything she did. Anything she touched seemed to flourish under her skilful hands. She had a mix of practicality, creativity, deep thinking, technical knowledge and nurturing traits, all rolled into one. Her advice to me was always simple yet profound, enriched by the wisdom accumulated through a life of surrendering to the ebb and flow of existence. To me, her way of living feels like that kind of perfection worth striving for.
It feels like she embodies the essence of extraordinary ordinariness. She shows how simple things can be beautiful and meaningful. She reminds me that greatness lies not only in grand achievements but also in the depth and meaning we infuse into our everyday lives.
So, don’t tie real happiness to strict definitions. Everyone’s journey is unique; each of you can follow a path that matches your values and dreams, no matter what others say. Finding joy in everyday moments and being okay with choices that aren’t conventional is empowering. Helping a friend, spending time with family, or taking a break to recharge and explore life’s other sides hold their own beauty.
Let go of the phrases that are consistently encouraging you to strive for your full potential, to be the best version of yourself and other non-sense jargon that is out there these days. The pursuit of personal growth is commendable, but it should not come at the cost of your well-being and balance in life. Growing should come with kindness, compassion and self-awareness, understanding that success isn’t just what you achieve outside, but also the quality of your life and relationships, the joy you find in everyday living. Remember, life’s melody isn’t only perfect notes, but also the delightful interplay of discord and harmony. Embracing imperfections helps us uncover real beauty and complexity of our own existence.
