Part 1: Authenticity & Acceptance
by Jana Silk
Every parent wants their child to thrive. It can be particularly challenging for parents to witness their child facing struggles, especially when they feel lonely or excluded from their peer group or the larger community.
Many different experiences are valuable for your child, and it’s important not to rush in and try to fix or rescue them from every difficult situation they encounter. However, there are times when they may need your support and guidance.
When it comes to developing and maintaining meaningful relationships, children need to cultivate a set of life skills that will empower them to navigate the world of friendships and other relations. This training begins in the earliest stages of their life and continues to grow over time.
I have divided the skill set into several different categories, keeping in mind that these categories overlap and are interdependent.
LET'S BEGIN WITH AUTHENTICITY & ACCEPTANCE
“Self-Awareness” and “Knowing Self” is often interchangeably used in today’s society, but what does it truly mean?
Self-awareness means that you understand your own thoughts, emotions, behaviors and motivations. It involves being attuned to your inner world and recognize your patterns and tendencies.
Knowing Self goes beyond this surface level awareness, superficial aspects of appearance or external labels of identity and delves into a deeper understanding of your values, beliefs, strengths and weaknesses, perhaps aspirations. It involves exploring and gaining insights into the core essence of who we are as individuals.
Authenticity is indeed a vital component of this concept. It’s important to recognize that while you may have self-awareness, living and expressing yourself authentically can be a significant challenge. The journey towards uncovering your authentic self unfolds gradually as you navigate life, acknowledge your flaws and learn from what are often perceived as mistakes. This process cannot be rushed or forced; it naturally evolves over time as you gain experiences and insights.
Therefore, authenticity is not something you can develop or manufacture; rather it is about uncovering and embracing your Truth. It does not only involve recognizing your own values and expressing them honestly, but also respecting someone’s else Truth and accepting that every one of us is walking their own journey. And most importantly, it is about introspection, self-reflection, and a willingness to embrace self-acceptance, without the constant need to fix or change everything we perceive as undesirable.
In light of the understanding that authenticity is discovered through living life and reflecting on our experiences and actions, how can we then encourage our children to embrace and maintain their authenticity in their daily lives?
Think simple.
There is no need to come up with complex solutions. Children benefit greatly from talking to their parents, delving into different concepts and life topics. It’s important to remember that teaching and guiding children is an on-going process that requires time, patience and a willingness to listen and understand their perspective.
Exploring your child’s personal values is a wonderful way to help them embrace and maintain authenticity. Playing a game that prompts critical thinking is a fun and engaging approach.
- Set aside time with your child
- Start by asking them a simple questions like, “What do you think it means to be a good friend?”
- Listen and encourage them to elaborate on their thoughts
- Ask follow-up questions that encourage them to reflect further, such as “Why do you think that is important in a friendship?”
- Share your own thoughts and values on the topic.
- Explore other values-related questions like, “What qualities do you think make a person trustworthy?” or “What does kindness mean to you?”
- Encourge your child to think about how these values can guide their actions and interactions with others.
- Reinforce the importance of staying true to their own values and being authentic in their relationships.
- Teach self-acceptance: help your child to develop positive self-image, where they know that they are worthy and valuable, without inflating their importance. You can do this by helping your child develop a balanced view of themselves through acknowledgement of their strengths and areas for growths. Fostering self-awareness and reflection without placing excessive emphasis on external validation is a key.
Lastly, engaging children in acts of kindness and service to others not only helps them develop empathy and compassion but also allows them to explore their own values and personality traits. By taking on responsibilities, assisting others, and engaging in community projects, children can gain a deeper understanding of their strengths, values, and the positive impact they can have on the world around them. Encouraging them to be actively involved in helping others, fosters a sense of purpose and fulfillment, contributing to their overall personal growth and authenticity.
Remember, embracing and maintaining authenticity is a lifelong journey. Be patient, supportive and provide ongoing guidance as your child navigates their path towards self-discovery and living authentically.
